Those Balloon Things!

All right, people. I’m am tired and maybe a little scared of the tall, skinny balloons that appear at the car dealerships! You know the ones I’m talking about: blue, red, green, purple, and black eyes and a scruff of hair at the top. If they would hold still, I would be okay, but they move and sway and bend over, for pete’s sake! Who thought this would be a good idea to attract car customers?

Yes, yes, I hear you. I noticed them and remembered them, so the advertising must be doing something. Yes, that’s a rule of advertising, but it’s not my rule. Personally I liked the regular round balloons and swags of pennants, or big sales signs.

Today, I turned the corned on McGovern Avenue, and there he was, Mr. Blue, bending and swaying and tossing in the wind, and the weird thing was, he or gender neutral blue was dancing to the music I had on! R-E-S-P-E-C-T. No, no, Mr./Ms. Balloon thingy, I neither respect you nor wish to see you! Go away, please!

Photo by Don Hainzl on

I couldn’t even find a picture of one, but this smiley face balloon is a least taking people on a ride. Wait! That’s irony, isn’t it? Balloon taking you for a ride? Cars? I give up for now, but one day, you will drive through my city and people at car lots will be standing beside their popped person balloons, and it will all be for the good of the world.

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