It feels as though it’s been raining for days, but right away the Bad Critic (remember him?) says,”Whatcha problem, lady? Ya want hot or cold, rain or sun?”
Obviously, I’m a glass half empty person. No. More like a glass empty, period. It’s the brainwaves, they say. You are made that way. But I know better. I learned to see things that way, and when the brain went wonky on me, starting at about age nine, well, things weren’t always pretty. This blog isn’t meant to be a poormeIhavedepression, but I hope, eventually, I might reach a like-minded soul. We’re all different, and every one of us has a bad critic, but most of us don’t wake up every day with a terrible dread. Or spend so much time worrying about something that may never happen…I know, there is a logical part of my mind that tries to butt in and make sense of things. This is my Mr. Spock who says I can’t control it, so why worry? I can’t always hear my Spock. He gets buried under the Bad Critic who is so loud, sometimes, I can’t think. Am I crazy? No, I have met crazy, and that person thought he was perfectly fine.
I'm a woman and a writer who is determined to tell my story about living with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Mental Illness. Yes, we are not supposed to talk about it. Well I'm about to.
However, I will be writing about some whimsical things as well. I welcome feedback and opinions, and disagreements are fine, just tell me why.
What else would you want to know? I just retired from teaching, have been taking grad classes on writing, and have several pieces I want to publish. I am also halfway through a memoir about my mental illness--depression, and I am trying to become more open in talking about it. That's really the purpose of this blog. I imagine there are more than a few students who will be surprised because I just kept going, working, reading, teaching, and raising my four kids. Not always easy for anyone, but I did have days when I wanted to fly away and not come back. I like to use Alice as my metaphor, and the Rabbit hole she tumbled into as where I went when I tried to end my life two years ago.
But now, I'm off again, on new adventures. I hope you like my blog.
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